Tuesday, October 14, 2008

HOw i wish i could go back to dance...how i wish i could go back to learn guitar...how i wish i have all those money to learn whatever i wan to learn....how i wish. There just not enough time for me. Always ask myself why can't i be more cleverer, so that i am able to learn things fast enough, by not wasting any time. Why i always slower than other people?I just like to compare myself to other who more better than me. I have no more confidence le. No matter how hard i try, still can't get what i want. In past i do believe that be true and paying all effort out will get repay but the truth is NO. Not everything will get repay. I hate myself to be so weak and retarted. I hate myself to be born in a poor family whereby can't get whatever i want. I most hate myself for not capable to get whatever i want for myself. Just feel that i am useless. I scare this scare that. Waste lots of time thinking, planning and without any action putting in. I really hate myself. I have no confidence in speaking english that i hate presentation alot. Do not know why just can't do well like others.Somehow in a down mood. Suddenly all this old feeling came back to me again.
Of cos i know, afterall i still need to work harder in order to be better. Anyway now no money what can i do? prepare myself loh to wait for chance come here. Other things think again ba. Jia you Jinye Jia you Jia you!!!!!
YourDarlin
Kim

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